Expecting too much of oneself

Life is hard sometimes.

This past week I waffled, I became wishy-washy and unsure. I was angry at myself, for my lack of being able to articulate the way I wanted to. It is hard to understand your own threshold or even your own limitations.

However, it is all part of the process of being a grown up sometimes. Grown-ups have to face reality on a daily basis. We pay bills, we clean our house and most of all we work.

Janie told us once that there are four people living within the writer's mind. She's right.

The Doubter
The Dreamer
The realist
The worker bee

This past week I was the doubter. I hate being neurotic. I really do. I like to keep myself on a tight leash. I like to work and to work hard. But I really caused myself some pain this week. No one did it to me but myself.

They say that sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. This is true. I'm very hard on myself. I hold myself to high standards. Perhaps too high. I don't leave myself very much wiggle room.

Finally, I had to tell myself "Get over it" and "Get back to work"

I had to literally pull myself up by the boot straps and kick myself in the tooshy.

So I pushed that Doubting Thomas to the back of my brain, and got on with it. One day at a time, one section at a time.